What The Hell Am I Doing in Yosemite?

*Me in Yosemite: Photo By Colt Fetters

After graduating in May and spending a little time at home in Seattle, I headed out on a cross-country road trip. After stopping in Portland to hang out for a night, I headed to San Fran and went wine tasting in Sonoma Valley with my sister, then headed to Yosemite to meet up with my boyfriend and his guy friends to do a little climbing.

Heading into one of the most epic climbing areas with a bunch of boys who climb way harder then I do was intimidating to say the least. My boyfriend and his friends James and Reed went for their first big wall and attempted to climb Washington Column and it was a lot tougher then they thought it would be, and they are great climbers.

I was already nervous to try and climb anything, after hearing they had a rough time I didn’t stand a chance. Big wall climbing and Yosemite is like big-league climbing. I just started climbing seriously last year and don’t even feel justified in calling myself  a climber, especially not a big wall climber.

Yosemite is one of the most beautiful and powerful places I have travelled to, and I loved being and camping there. But I totally held back when it came to climbing. I climbed one route when I was there. It is laughable how little I climbed. I didn’t ask for anyone to take me to easier routes or to find stuff, I let my fear of not being a good enough climber hold me back from even trying. I felt I had not earned it, put in enough climbs, or loved the sport enough to climb where the legends have, or where my incredibly talented boyfriend and his friends were climbing.

But the reality is, I was in an amazing place, and had the opportunity to challenge myself among some really amazing people and climbers, and to move forward with climbing. There will not be another time I leave a trip regretting not pushing it hard enough not pushing myself to my limits, and I have been since. I will go back to Yosemite eventually, ready or not, I will climb not because I am good enough, or a great climber, but because I love the sport.

Wilderwomen

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