All things flow through cycles. Creation. Maintenance. Destruction. Repeat.
I don’t mean destruction as its connotation might imply. There doesn’t need to be a big disaster, although there might be. It simply means “the end.” As we enter into one of nature’s periods of destruction and an abundance of greenery says its goodbye for the year, it’s time to recognize where we should also say goodbye.
Far too often, we overstay our welcome. Or, rather, we let jobs, relationships, friendships, places overstay their welcome in our lives. Why? Change may not be easy: we may feel stuck for one reason or another, we may be scared, or feel guilty. When we allow these circumstances to carry on for too long, we are ignoring the natural flow and preventing ourselves from reaching a new creation stage.
The first step in letting go is recognizing and accepting that you are moving into a destruction phase. Are you experiencing these signs?
A general lack of ease
Life isn’t always easy but it shouldn’t be unnecessarily hard. Do you find yourself dedicating most of your attention and effort to one specific area of your life…yet feeling tense rather than fulfilled? When things are as they should be, there tends to a sense of flow to our lives. While the pieces may not always fit seamlessly, elements in the creation and maintenance stage don’t need forced into place. If there’s forcing, should that component actually be there or is it trying to tell you to let it go?
An unhealthy change in habits
Your usual routine of smoothies and yoga has been pushed aside. If you find yourself turning to unhealthy habits such as excessive drinking or eating, numbing your brain with television, or crawling under the covers every chance you get, this is a telltale sign that you have something in your life that is not serving you. You lose focus of taking care of yourself and instead, use coping mechanisms that mask or thwart your feelings. Instead, take time to sit with the uncomfortable emotions to see what they’re really saying.
Someone or something is stealing your energy or, more accurately, you are giving it away. When a person or situation is supposed to be in our life, even if it takes energy, it won’t leave us feeling completely diminished by the end of the day. Even when your kids drain you of your energy, you still have love for them. When you are exhausted, day in and day out, and feel emptied of all emotions, it’s time to recover your fire from what is extinguishing it.
An old proverb says, “let go or be dragged.” Identifying when a job, relationship, friendship, or some other element is in its destruction stage is crucial to letting it go. If we learn to honor this phase, we open ourselves up for the exciting, new possibilities that the creation stage will bring.